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2021.04.19

09 Fiona

… more planter tank mischief, removed a tick… feeling very challenged by my life…

08 Derek Chauvin Trial

… defense and prosecution summation endless… so different from TV drama…

07 Jonathan Blaustein

… yesterday he followed me on Instagram, not in response to me following him, just followed me… he reviews photography books, runs a photography workshop program, is a frequent reviewer at the major portfolio review events… he follows many people, almost as many as follow him… he didn’t individually like any of my photos, just followed me, perhaps it is self promotion, building his audience?… it surprised me that it wasn’t larger…

06 Alice Neel Retrospective at the Met

… on view until August 01, shall this be our first trip into the city since we went to see Kathy last summer?… i am thinking so… H loves AN, and there are friends we can connect with to see it…

Alice Neel, Hartley, 1966, oil on canvas, 50 × 36″. National Gallery of Art, Washington, D.C. Gift of Arthur M. Bullowa, in honor of the fiftieth anniversary of the National Gallery of Art. © The Estate of Alice Neel.
Alice Neel, Hartley, 1966, oil on canvas, 50 × 36″. National Gallery of Art, Washington, D.C. Gift of Arthur M. Bullowa, in honor of the fiftieth anniversary of the National Gallery of Art. © The Estate of Alice Neel.

05 Catcalling by Lee Soho

… a collection of poems that “explore what it means to be a woman in contemporary Korea, dissecting the layers of abuse that the narrator experiences from family, lovers, and strangers.”12

04 Georges Lemaître

… a Catholic priest proves the universe is expanding…

… Henrietta Swan Leavitt, a woman astronomer who received little credit for her work during her lifetime… she dies a few years before Hubble begins working on the expanding universe problem… Hubble built on her work on relative vs. absolute brightness of stars…

After having placed the Earth at the centre of the universe for thousands of years, and having reluctantly accepted that it is just one of the many bodies that rotate around the Sun, a further, final illusion suddenly crumbles. The solar system and our beloved Milky Way have no special position. We are an insignificant component of an anonymous galaxy—just one among the myriad of others to be found throughout the universe. And as if this was not enough, the entire system changes over time. Like all material objects it had a point of origin, and it will in all probability also have an end.3

… as i read this, my ‘I am i said’ struggles seem silly… we are all inconsequential on this scale…

… Lemaître was, it appears, the originator of the Big Bang theory, which postulates that the cosmos erupted violently out of a “cosmic egg” with matter still flying out from the center of this eruption…

A good number of the most eminent scientists of the age refused even to countenance the idea of a beginning to space-time, or a birth of the universe. The problem lay in the fact that it bore a terrible resemblance to the biblical Genesis, and to the creation theory advocated by many religions. And if this wasn’t bad enough, the first proponent of the theory happened to be a priest as well as a scientist, and a Roman Catholic one at that.4

… much of the resistance to the Big Bang theory was its uncomfortable similarities to biblical creationism… a relationship that “Lemaître strongly objected to…”

… from Genesis: The Story of How Everything Began by Guido Tonelli

03 Ania Hobson

… this painting…

… it seems a masterpiece of composition and expression of foreboding, the colors are amazing, the women seem to be looking over their shoulders for what?… are they involved romantically?, are they worried about displaying it in public?… the painting is enigmatic… that there is a red light occupying half the canvas seems significant…

02 Girlhood, Melissa Febos

… My Darkness has Become My Work on this Earth

… Febos relates the trauma of separation, individuation, to her mother and herself, talks about rape though she confesses she was never raped, perhaps always had negotiated with men who might do so, let them have what they wanted, pleaded them to a lesser intrusion on her body…

… Febos talks about her alienation from her mother and then her return, about writing books on her experiences and her mother finding out through them how bad it had been…

… i think about J, i will never have reconciliation with them, they have no desire to allow me the place of being a man in their presence… they have no desire to acknowledge i have become a man… they are jealous and always have been…

… i spoke to C yesterday, J is failing, C wants to stop the progression, they won’t be able to… i feel sad…

01 Self

231.8 lbs

… i am up extra early, i don’t know why… weight about the same… i had a bad day yesterday, Fiona dug up one of my planter tanks, really dug it up, destroyed the set up, i will have to empty it out and redo it… it was one of those moments where all the wind goes out of your sails and you sink into depression… i told H it’s hard enough to keep up with all the work to do around here without having a dog make more work… i hate this feeling of not having enough time to do right by the house… or money…

… the birds are singing outside, loudly, it is a while before the sun comes up, they sing anyway…

… i discover i can publish all of a day’s notes at once to a blog post… will that be more efficient?, i don’t know…

  1. Rhian Sasseen https://www.theparisreview.org/blog/2021/04/16/staff-picks-boulders-brushstrokes-and-bud-smith/
  2. https://www.theparisreview.org/blog/2021/04/16/staff-picks-boulders-brushstrokes-and-bud-smith/
  3. Guido Tonelli, https://lithub.com/rediscovering-the-scientist-priest-who-radically-changed-our-view-of-the-universe/
  4. Guido Tonelli, https://lithub.com/rediscovering-the-scientist-priest-who-radically-changed-our-view-of-the-universe/

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