Site Overlay

2021.04.28

01 First Thoughts

230.0 lbs

… for some reason, first thoughts are something i think should be my uninfluenced by anything i read thoughts about the state of my mind… this morning i have read Heather Cox Richardson and and an article on Tucker Carlson who, to me, is the epitome of what is wrong with conservatives in this country… my thoughts are muddled by input that is not first thoughts at all… perhaps it doesn’t matter… first thoughts are just the first thoughts i write for the day, wherever they come from to get here…

… i was able to restrict myself to one cocktail last night… i have told H that i will start buying wine again now that her SS check is in… wine is an expensive habit in the end, more so than cocktails…

… yesterday I drove K to Nature’s Pantry, stopped also at Shop Rite… it was the first extended amount of time spent with anyone in close proximity, the same car, maskless… we are both vaccinated and agreed that we felt protected even if we got sick… we even hugged when parting, it felt good to say yes to a hug from a friend…

… more people seem to be finding my Tumblr posts, now that i spread them out across the day… more likes during the day even if no one or two photographs get more than two or three likes… some attention being paid to the attention i pay, which is important to me even if i am unwilling to let the desire for eyes determine what i post or write… i put it all out there and think of it as artistic production… i don’t do much to share the writing work because it is personal, mentions family members, talks about things polite people don’t talk about, i am the child of my parent’s generation, we are not honest about our heads and hearts in public, it’s cringeworthy when others do it… so we tell a smidgen of truth here and there and talk about the weather the rest of the time…

02 Catcalling, Lee Soho

The Island Back Then

… “Birches trapped in an old matchbox unaware of each other’s heads shattering like flints”… this line catches my attention above all others, metaphor for people who lie together in conformity until the universe plucks them out and explodes their heads… such an interesting metaphor… what a poor excuse for a tree matchsticks are… yet, the imagery is arresting, we are like matchsticks waiting for a brief moment of enlightenment on the way to immolation…

… “The back I faced was familiar and fearsome”… the poet is not alone in bed…

Delusion Beach

… a relationship, a delusional moment in time?…

Hyehwa District

… more relationship, relating, i and thou…

03 Feedly Food

… before time to turn to my Feedly feed, an article about Tucker Carlson who figures prominently in my mind as a Republican conservative asshole shit stirrer… the article is The Great Right Hype, by Joel Meares, in the Columbia Journalism Review, the kind of rag i imagine Tucker Carlson loves to hate… i finish the article, which isn’t as much of a much as i hoped, largely because it points to his foibles and failure to reach his goals, but fails to take him down completely, fails to deal with his Fox News opinion personality presenter iteration…

an interesting article in The Atlantic on low fertility rates around the globe, why that is a problem, and what governments need to do about it… the problem seems a bit intractable, as women like being in the workforce and sacrifice professional development when they stay home, some men too, who choose to be the child rearer… making parenting a viable alternative to joining the workforce will require full valuation of the service it is to society, which has been talked about for decades but has not happened… i read the article because of this sentence and quote of Crystal Eastman…

The new goal of the feminist movement, she argued, should be to ensure that women are free to pursue careers outside of child-rearing—but also to guarantee that if women chose to focus on parenting, their labors would be “recognized by the world as work, requiring a definite economic reward.”1, i note that Biden/Harris is currently trying to do this…

… another interesting article by Amanda Carpenter on The Rise of “Anti-Woke” Punitive Populism… i am reading much more news than i intended to this morning… this quote of Josh Hawley surprises me…

In this moment of crisis, our country needs us to take a stand … to stand up and to say, “We will not be ruled by giant corporations and the liberal elite. We will not be told what to do by these modern-day oligarchs.” What we need is a new nationalism, a new agenda to make the rule of the people real in this country and give the people America back. Give it back to them! Give it back to you! No more rule by oligarchs. Rule by the people, that’s what we’ve got to do. And I can tell you how I would start. I would start by breaking up the Big Tech corporations. Just break ’em up. Break them up in the name of the rule of the people. For the good of the American people and our liberty, we need to break those corporations up and cut them down to size.2

… it surprises me that fear of the “oligarchy” is being pedaled by a conservative, i always thought this was a liberal concern… hmmm…

04 Walking

… as i walk out the door my goal is the pocket road trail… along the way i vacillate, consider routes more frequently taken, finally i am at the place where there is only turning back… up and up and up… a stop here and there to let my heart catch its breath… till i sit on my customary rock at the place where the trail crosses the stream… soon, i tell myself, i will go all the way to the top…

… burble, gurgle, white noise hiss, complexity of sounds, is there an underlying structure?… i try to think of words to describe it, how long now?, a couple of years, there is the cliche, that won’t do, and i am not interested in anthropomorphizing it… burble, gurgle, white noise static hiss… the static hiss underlies it, like a snake, hiding in the the spaces between the rocks… the stream does snake down the hillside… slither, burble, gurgle, hiss… watch carefully where you step, slithering snakes are safe, it’s the coiled up ones that bite… the sound of a vehicle, coming up the road?, something in the distance reaching me here?… civilization finding me…

05 Pictures

  1. Stepanie H. Murray, The Danger of Shortchanging Parents, The Atlantic: https://www.theatlantic.com/politics/archive/2021/04/economic-arguments-parents-child-tax-credit/618692/
  2. Josh Hawley via Bulwark: https://thebulwark.com/the-rise-of-anti-woke-punitive-populism/

Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.