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Week 39

September 25, 2020

224.8 lbs

08:16 AM – walking, Memorial Park

… foggy morning, not quite dense enough to be dramatic, but still moody, still interesting light… the metallic crack/ping of an aluminum bat against baseball… the sound of women jogging and talking, the sounds of Saturday morning in Beacon, NY…

05:53 AM – my studio, dogs are downstairs, H is asleep…

… JB post about the fear of dictatorship, a real worry, hopefully 45 is just trying to control the narrative and does not mean it, but we have to assume he does… dark, quiet, crickets outside… i have the thought that i should review my signage photographs, signs of the times, to see if there is density yet, can i share?… i look at the seven photographs i selected to represent the day’s work, and i think wow!, there are some amazing images, all of them really, i love all of them, feel proud of all of them… i am in black and white mode again, sign of anxiety?, i don’t know what pushes me from color to black and white and back again, i get into moods… this photographer gets my attention…

September 24, 2020

224.4 lbs

08:01 AM – walking Long Dock Park

… run into R coming out of train station, i joke about shift change… we chat, he shows me a picture taken of the Clearwater… we wish each other a good day, i find the Clearwater and make my own pictures…

06:58 AM – my studio

the Atlantic articleHeather Cox Richardson on the Atlantic Article

06:23 AM – my studio, with Chas

… back from a walk with Fiona, she was restless and bothering me, upon return, Chas downstairs waiting, H not up yet…

04:41 AM – my studio, with Fiona

… slept ok, lots of tossing and turning later part of the night… aches and pains, hoping it is mostly related to flu vaccine… HCR particularly disturbing this morning, 45 is lining himself up to steal the election… trying to sooth myself with reading in Until The End Of Time, the disturbing thoughts arising from HCR and the Atlantic article keep disturbing, we are on the cusp of something huge in the United States and it seems the very core of who and what we are is at stake… still, the book is covering consciousness, has gotten to Panpsychism, is somewhat skeptical about it, quoting Carl Sagan, extraordinary claims require extraordinary proofs…

September 23, 2020

225.4 lbs

04:59 AM – my studio, with Fiona

… slept well, weight down, day is starting well… HCR discussion is of Russian influence on 45 and his administration and suggests that the administration is getting ready to unleash a Biden scandal which will be manufactured… continued reading in Until The End Of Time, reading about the software system that instruct and construct life’s infrastructure and the energy system that powers it, at first i thought that the pansychic leap was too far, then i think, no, at bottom it is all in the attractions and repulsions of elementary particles, protons, electrons… the idea that all physical processes in the universe take energy potential and release it to lower states of organization, this includes biological life, which helps take sunlight and raw materials and release the energy potential, does the universe continuously expand to accommodate this progressive release of energy into ever wider spaces, thus sealing the fate of everything?… of course the question remains, how did the collection of compacted stuff, potential, accumulate in the first place, and who says it won’t happen again?… an explanation of Darwin and evolution, and Darwinism, which it seems to me is a brutal model humanity is trying to escape, but is it at bottom brutality?, the end product is a diverse web of life maximized to utilize the energy potential of the planet as efficiently as possible, survival of the fittest perhaps, but there is a broad range of circumstances to which life can become fit, and the idea that there are winners and losers kings, queens and minions, that there is hierarchy, is not the only way to interpret the gathering of life force on the planet, it is the most destructive way and it is the way that market capitalism interprets the system… a system of reciprocity is one that would more adequately mesh with the continued flourishing of the planet and the life it is home to… so now the description of the primordial soup, molecular Darwinism, that is, the soup produces molecules that actively replicate, that those most successful in replication become the building blocks of subsequent animate life, but perhaps, we need a definition of animate, and maybe it needs to be broad, animate being the tendency to reduce entropy in the immediate environment through an ability to organize the environment through replication… “Life would be born.”1 the book states, but shouldn’t life be considered more continuous than having a moment of birth?, shouldn’t it be seen as a kind of welling up, out, whatever…

Even though the molecules inhabiting a cell lack intent or purpose, and even though they are thoroughly oblivious, their physical structure allows them to accomplish highly specialized tasks.2

… something smacks of a too mechanistic point of view here, the situation seems more fluid to me…

In this sense, the processes of life are molecular meanderings fully described by physical law that simultaneously tell a higher-level, information-based story. For the rock, there is no higher-level story. When you use the laws of physics to describe the bumping and jostling of the rock’s molecules, you’re done. But when you use the very same laws of physics to describe the bumping and jostling of rabbit molecules, you are not done. Not by a long shot.3

… do i agree with this?, i am not sure, is the encoding of information about the past of the planet mean the rock is done?, information has many ways of being encoded, some make it freely available to life’s processes, others preserve it for future use…

September 22, 2020

227.2 lbs

03:09 PM – my studio

After all, the more finely you examine something that’s alive, the more challenging it is to see that it’s living. Concentrate on a single molecule of water, an atom of hydrogen, or an individual electron, and you will find that none bear any mark delineating whether they are a constituent of something living or dead, of something animate or inanimate.4

… and this is where pansychism steps in, some level of consciousness is present down to fundamental particles…

05:34 AM – my studio, with Fiona

… did not sleep well last night, lots of tossing, turning, up earlier than usual… assembled and published my second image poem, liking the results… reading Until The End Of Time, this:

Notwithstanding centuries of scientific progress, we are no closer to answering the question raised by Gottfried Leibniz—“Why is there something rather than nothing?”—than we were when the German philosopher first expressed this lean distillation of the mystery of existence.5

… the fundamental question… i find reading and thinking about the really big pictures stuff reminds me that the trials and tribulations of humankind are relatively inconsequential in comparison, even the most consequential election in my lifetime…

September 21, 2020

226.4 lbs

08:37 AM – my studio

“all the labors of the ages, all the devotion, all the inspiration, all the noonday brightness of human genius, are destined to extinction in the vast death of the solar system, and that the whole temple of Man’s achievement must inevitably be buried beneath the debris of a universe in ruins?”6

07:31 AM – my studio

… i got out the door, said good morning to D who was walking H down the street, we started talking about the state of the world, Supreme Court nominations, then i watched a large raccoon cross the street, walk down the sidewalk and turn into our driveway, i told D i needed to follow up on that, the dogs and raccoon would not be a good combo, i don’t see the raccoon anywhere, so i start to head out for my walk, but i am worried, what if it is in the backyard and H lets the dogs out, i realize that i am not going to be able to concentrate on picture making and decide to give it up, everything about this morning has been counterflow to my intentions, i decide it is time to give into the flow…

05:52 AM – my studio, with Fiona

… already a very frustrating day, new mouse software doesn’t fix anything, time wasted, Fiona very restless, nothing done this AM…

05:20 AM – my studio, with Fiona

… watched my Octopus teacher last night, good film, though the film maker, who claimed to have learned, didn’t seem to have understood enough… the salient point to me is that close, daily observation teaches us what to expect, similar things have happened to me on my daily walks, i have learned to observe, when to expect certain kinds of things to happen…

September 20, 2020

227.0 lbs

08:31 – walking, Fishkill Creek

… chilly this AM… continuing with iPhone only photography, square format today, though the full rectangle is retained… posted an Homage to R on instagram… feeling better today, did not over drink as much… 2 bottles of wine, coping is a bitch…

06:07 – my studio

… nightmare last night, i dreamed about living in a large house, which was attached to another structure, i dreamed about people coming regularly for Sunday breakfast, on this morning we were not ready, i dreamed about trying to get ready but couldn’t make progress, i dreamed Chas running up and down street, but coming home, about a room filling with sleeping gas, getting out, pushing and holding door closed, calling for help, help trying to come, i could hear the voices, but never reaching me as the gas seeped out under the door and reclaimed me to sleep… there was a cooking range which acted like a mechanical bull, i wondered how the gas connections remained intact, i dreamed about additional raw space that i could get to through a door, thinking we could claim it and i could renovate it into a studio but realizing it belonged to someone else… HCR went to bed early, a quiet Sunday begins, weather should be nice, want to clean up the front yard, do the laundry… we played girl power songs last night in honor of RBG, we are in despair about her being replaced by 45, hoping dems and the people find a way to keep that from happening, but not optimistic… an exhibit in Paris on Sarah Moon, it doesn’t offer an online gallery, i find more photos on Lensculture… i watch visual poem 2020-37 and i am pleased with it… i posted it on FB but nobody looked at it, the news about RBG broke soon after and buried it, plus, folks don’t have much patience for a video that will claim 2 1/2 minutes of their time… i wonder that my photographic response to the pandemic has largely been to keep making the pictures i was making before the pandemic, except to the extent that signage and detritus from the pandemic and BLM enter into the scene… i explore the website of Burcu Koleli, nice, new age, vibrant colors, simple compositions, good, intimate portraits, not my cup of tea, spiritual but not cerebral, i prefer the cerebral spirituality, it suits me… the work of Takako Kido catches my eye…

  1. Greene, Brian. Until the End of Time (p. 107). Knopf Doubleday Publishing Group. Kindle Edition.
  2. Greene, Brian. Until the End of Time (p. 110). Knopf Doubleday Publishing Group. Kindle Edition.
  3. Greene, Brian. Until the End of Time (p. 110). Knopf Doubleday Publishing Group. Kindle Edition.
  4. Green, Brian, Until The End Of Time, (pg 74). Knopf Doubleday Publishing Group. Kindle Edition.
  5. Greene, Brian. Until the End of Time (p. 57). Knopf Doubleday Publishing Group. Kindle Edition.
  6. Greene, Brian. Until the End of Time (p. 49). Knopf Doubleday Publishing Group. Kindle Edition.



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